Self-Care Series Part One

Self-Care Series for Today’s Woman

Part One: First Steps to Change


This blog series is for all women, single, married, and in between. I am Coach Marlene, known as the dating coach for single women.

If you are a new reader of my blogs or a regular reader, I frequently write about issues that apply to all women and women of any age..

My mission is to help ALL women become the very best versions of themselves and live their best lives.

I am a big supporter and advocate for women to establish a self-care program in their daily routines. It’s a must!

It’s one of the essential habits that establishes the goal of being your best self and offering it to the world around you.

So, let’s get started!


The First Step to Change

Are you struggling to make healthier changes in your life? The first step is to recognize a change is needed.

Many of us are also great at avoiding change. We don’t like change; therefore, it’s not something we’d typically look forward to doing.

You must recognize when a change is needed to live your best life.

How can you recognize that change is needed in your life? Here are some of the common signs to look for.


You feel lost or stuck in life.

Do you feel stuck in a rut and have lost your purpose? This is a sure sign that a change is needed.

Everyone has a purpose, but identifying it isn’t always easy. Also, your purpose can change as you get older and go through life’s experiences.

If you feel like your life isn’t your own anymore, it’s time to change. It’s easy sometimes to get lost in the maze of our busyness.

We lose our way. Then the day comes when we fill unfulfilled and stuck in the daily grind and realize life keeps passing by.


Your mood is flat.

You find your mood is constantly flat. You don’t enjoy anything anymore, and you start feeling depressed.

Life is no longer satisfying. You’ve lost your enthusiasm for just about everything you once loved doing.

Think about the things that used to make you feel good. It could be that you once enjoyed your career.

If you don’t like your job, it’s a sign you need to change to get back to feeling that initial excitement.

It may be the family. Have things changed in the household? Are your duties and responsibilities wearing you down?

Are there other family members or situations where things have changed? It could be an illness or elderly parents that need care.  

Do you have toxic friends or friends you should spend less time with or avoid altogether?

A complete inventory of your current life may be necessary to determine what might make you feel stuck or lost your purpose.

We have a few more signs to look at and help you get past this time and move on to your best life.


You suffer from poor self-esteem.

Low self-esteem can develop for a lot of different reasons. However, it tends to be more prevalent in those who don’t take care of themselves.

If you lack self-care, you may criticize yourself more or feel like you aren’t worth much. You don’t match up.

Over time, poor self-esteem can make you feel like you don’t deserve good things in life, which can cause you to give up trying to be happy.

It is a good sign you need a change if you suffer from poor self-esteem. Again, it requires a hard look at when and where your esteem suffered.

Did low self-esteem come from your childhood? Many of us grew up when parents didn’t parent in ways that built self-esteem.

If it starts in childhood, it tends to carry over into adulthood. Therefore, we unconsciously seek out the things that feed poor self-esteem.

Poor self-esteem can and does sprout from many different areas of our life; for some, it can start as early as entering our school years.

It could be bullying, and yes, girls do get bullied. Or you’re not one of the brainy kids, and you feel you are not smart or not pretty enough or wear the right clothes.

It may not start until you become an adult. It could be an employer who berates his employees. Or allows sexual harassment by other employees.

Did you get into damaging relationships early on, or are you currently in an abusive relationship? Take a good look at some of your friendships. 


You have little or no energy.

Having little energy throughout the day could be a sign of poor sleep, which is the first place to look at. It can also work in reverse if you get too much sleep.

It can also relate to a deeper issue if you are constantly tired. There are many things to consider here.

What does your diet look like? Are you eating nutritionally? Do you eat regular meals and take vitamins?

It’s not uncommon for all the above to be affected if life, in general, is out of sorts and you lost your passion and interest in life.

When you no longer find joy or do things that no longer inspire you, it can zap your energy quickly.

If you consistently wake up feeling tired and drained, take it as a good sign you need to change something in your life.

There are a lot of signs that could point to the fact you need a change. Lastly, I would recommend you see your doctor.

Rule out any physical reason for you to be feeling poorly. Get a complete physical if you haven’t had one for a while.

Have you recognized yourself here, and do you feel a change is necessary to find your purpose and move out of your rut?

We have covered some indicators to help you recognize your current issues and how to eliminate them.

Are you ready to make a change and create a self-care program? Let’s recap everything we have covered and where and how to start.

  • Recognizing a change is needed.
  • You feel lost or stuck in life
  • Your mood is flat
  • You suffer from poor self-esteem
  • You have little or no energy

Go back and review each of these sections, notice what areas you feel apply to you, and start going deep in those areas.

You’ve recognized you need a change or some self-care program. Now we need to locate where your problem area is.

You’re lost or stuck in your life. Do you feel you drift through the day? Do you remember what your purpose was at one time in your life?

Is this still your same calling, but you’ve stopped working towards it, and now you feel stuck and don’t know how to keep moving toward that purpose?

Identify this area, and if it applies to you, note it because we will get back to it later.

Your mood is flat, life is no longer fun, and nothing excites you anymore. What used to be fun for you? What used to excite you or got you enthusiastic?

What if anything or anybody has changed in your life? In your household, your spouse or lack of a significant other. A loss. Toxic situations?

What, if anything, can you identify affecting your state of mind? Make a note of anything that affects how you feel.

You suffer from low self-esteem can sometimes be harder to identify what could have had an effect or the start of esteem issues.

It’s possible you can remember or identify when and where this started for you and, if not, go through different times when you started feeling less. 

You have little or no energy may take some time if you use the process of elimination to get to the cause.

Remember, you are worth the effort and the time to be happy and enjoy your life. Don’t give up on yourself.

In time you’ll begin to see where the change needs to take place and a Self-care program put into place.

You’ll begin to feel happier and more energized. You’ll feel energized and ready to take on anything when you care for yourself.

We have four more to this Five Part to this series.

Let’s see what’s in store for us in Part Two!


But before we go, always remember to

Be true to your magnificent self,
Coach Marlene

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