Breaking Habits That Hold You Back
Start Small, Stay Consistent, and See the Difference
By Marlene Wagner
I’ve chosen this month’s topic because it’s a new year, and we all have goals and resolutions for the new year to make changes.
All changes start with the development of new habits, and we all have habits we wish we could change.
Most of the goals and New Year resolutions involve weight loss, getting fit, and giving up smoking or drinking.
I will discuss the many other habits we wish we could change—the small, annoying ones.
Maybe it’s that nightly snack you grab before bed, the tendency to scroll endlessly on your phone, hitting the snooze button too often, or even procrastination.
Habits shape our lives for better or worse, and it’s easy to feel stuck or like climbing a mountain.
But I want you to know it’s possible. We’ll explore a practical, friendly guide to breaking and replacing bad habits with healthier ones.
It may even feel empowering and exciting.
The Making of a Habit
Before we discuss how to change habits, let’s understand how they form. Habits are behaviors repeated so often that they become automatic.
Every habit is built on a cue, routine, and reward loop. Let’s break that down.
- Cue: Something triggers the behavior. Maybe you’re stressed, and that’s your cue.
- Routine: A habit, like grabbing a snack or scrolling social media.
- Reward: You get a little hit or relief, comfort, or distraction.
Understanding this cycle is key to breaking free because once you know how habits work, you can rewrite the script.
What Habits Would You Like to Change?
Take a moment to reflect. What habits aren’t serving you? Write them down.
Maybe you’ve been meaning to cut down on sugar or stop procrastinating at work.
Writing it out helps you clarify what’s holding you back and where you want to grow.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Habits don’t define you; they’re just behaviors, and behaviors can be changed.
Choose One Habit at a Time
You might feel tempted to tackle everything at once when you look at your list. Resist the urge!
The key to lasting change is focusing on one habit at a time. Trying to change too much can leave you feeling overwhelmed and discouraged.
Instead, pick the habit that feels the most important or doable right now.
Maybe it’s the one affecting your life the most or the one feeling easiest to change. Small wins build enormous momentum.
Ask Why You Want to Change That Habit
Your “why” is your superpower. Knowing why you want to change a habit will motivate you when things get tough.
Take a moment to ask yourself why this matters to you.
Maybe you want to exercise more to feel stronger and have more energy to spend time with your kids or grandkids.
Or maybe you want to spend less time on your phone to feel more present with the people you love.
Write down your “why” and keep it somewhere you’ll often see it, like on a sticky note on your mirror or a reminder on your phone.
Know Your Triggers
Every habit has a trigger, something that sets the behavior in motion. Maybe you snack when bored, scroll your phone when stressed, or skip workouts when tired.
Start paying attention to the moments when your habit shows up. Ask yourself:
- Where am I?
- What am I feeling?
- Who am I with?
Once you know your triggers, you can start to plan for them.
If boredom leads to snacking, you could keep a book or a puzzle hand to occupy your hands and mind.
Start Small
Many go wrong here, aiming too big, too fast. Small, Consistent steps lead to significant, lasting change.
Let’s say you want to start exercising.
Instead of jumping into an hour-long (and then feeling discouraged when it’s too much), try just five minutes of stretching or a short walk.
Once that feels natural, you can build from there.
Remember, progress beats perfection. Every small step forward counts.
Replace One Habit with Another
Breaking a habit isn’t about willpower but finding a healthier alternative that meets the same need.
Try a relaxing herbal tea instead if you’re used to decompressing with a glass of wine.
If you scroll your phone in bed, replace it with a calming bedtime ritual like reading or journaling.
The idea is to give your brain something else to latch onto. It’s not about losing something. It’s about gaining something better.
Note Your Progress
Tracking your progress is like giving yourself a high-five every day.
Whether you use a journal, an app, or even a simple checklist, seeing your big and small wins will motivate you.
If you’re trying to drink more water, jot down how many glasses you have daily.
Over time, you’ll start to notice patterns and progress. Celebrate those little victories. They are a big deal.
Prepare for Slip-Ups
Slip-ups are normal. Nobody is perfect, and that’s okay. What matters is how you respond. Don’t let them derail you.
Instead of beating yourself up, view them as learning opportunities.
What triggered the slip-up? How can you handle it differently the next time? Remember, one bad day doesn’t undo all your progress.
You’re still moving forward.
Reward Yourself
Breaking a habit is hard work, and you deserve to celebrate your efforts. Rewards don’t have to be big or fancy; they need to feel good.
So, treat yourself to something you enjoy—a night out with friends or a fancy coffee.
Make time for a book you’ve wanted to read or a manicure and pedicure you’ve been putting off. Rewards reinforce your success.
Be Patient
Habits don’t change overnight. It takes time, practice, and patience.
Studies suggest forming a new habit can take anywhere from 21 to 66 days, so don’t get discouraged if progress feels slow.
Give yourself grace and remember every step forward is still progress, no matter how small.
Be Persistent
The road to change isn’t always smooth, but persistence is what keeps you moving.
When things get tough, lean on your “why.” It’s your superpower.
Surround yourself with supportive people who cheer you on. Remind yourself you are worth the effort.
Conclusion
Breaking bad habits is a journey. It requires awareness, effort, and patience, but the rewards are worth it.
You have the power to create healthier, happier habits that align with the life you want to live. So, start today by taking one step, one habit, one day at a time.
So, what habit will you start changing today?
Please always feel free to pass on my content to anyone you think would be interested in or helped by the information.
Contact me if you or someone you know is interested in one-on-one coaching.
Until next time, starting today, make yourself a priority and begin living your best life.
But before we go, always remember to
Be true to your magnificent self,
Coach Marlene
Connect with me!! I’d love to hear from you.
https://attractloveatanyage.com/
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Email: parkavenueunlimited@midco.net
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