Self-Care Series Part 4


Self-Care For Today’s Woman

Part Four



This blog series is for all women, single, married, and in between. I am Coach Marlene and am known as the dating coach for single women.


If you are a new reader of my blogs or a regular reader, I frequently write about issues that apply to all women and women of any age.


My mission is to help ALL women become the very best versions of themselves and live their best lives.


I am a big supporter and advocate for women to establish a self-care program in their daily routine. It’s a must!


It’s one of the most essential habits that establishes the goal of being your best self and offering your best self to the world around you.


In Part One, we looked at the first steps to change.


In Part Two, we looked at how the lack of self-care leads to unhappiness in our lives.


In Part Three, we looked at balancing self-care with a busy life.


In Part Four, we’ll look at common blind spots.


So, let’s get started!



Self-Care Blind Spots

In part one of this series, we’ll look at self-care blind spots and how to prevent them from sabotaging successful results.



You have decided to get on the Self-Care challenge, and you’re pretty excited about it and the changes it will help you make.


But until you learn about Blind Spots, you won’t understand why you may not be getting the results you expected. Just what are Blind Spots?


Blind spots are different for everyone. They are aspects of ourselves that you aren’t fully aware of. It combines personality traits, feelings, or actions.


Blind spots can hamper our self-care efforts. It’s why it’s so important to become fully aware of them.


We’ll look at some of the most common blind spots you may discover when working on self-care.



You Avoid Conflict


Most people hate conflict, but there are times it needs to be addressed to resolve some situations.


However, If you tend to avoid conflict most of the time, you may do or say things you don’t necessarily agree with or wish you hadn’t said.


This is a blind spot that can quickly derail your self-care efforts. 


When you give in to others to avoid conflict, it reduces your credibility. You may also find you are frequently miserable due to not standing up for yourself.


You fail to stand firm in your own beliefs and values. So, if your blind spot is avoiding conflict, it’s important to address it.


How do you do that? Now that you are aware of it, you must know when conflict occurs. That’s step one. You find yourself conflicted with something or someone.


Nothing says a conflict has to be dealt with the moment it happens. My favorite way to deal with a conflict is to acknowledge the conflict occurred.


Ask for time to think about how it can be handled or make a statement. Let me think about I’ll get back to you.


It gives you time to think about it and resolve it calmly. You’ll avoid saying things you’ll regret later, and it allows you to stand up for yourself in a relaxed and dignified way.



Holding On to Toxic People


Do you have toxic people in your life you just can’t seem to let go of? Whether it is a friend, partner, family member, or colleague at the office.


We all have toxic people all around us. They’re hard to avoid as there are so many in this world. How do we recognize a toxic person?

Toxic people have different actions and behaviors. But, if you are around someone who always stresses you, upsets you, and pushes your buttons chances are good that’s a toxic person.


Another definition of toxic people can be abusive, manipulative, demeaning, and insulting.


Toxic people’s lives are filled with drama; they are negative, never happy, and always complaining.


Once you can identify the toxic people around you, there are different things you can and should do.


Holding on to toxic people is not only hurting your self-development but detrimental in so many other ways and will never serve you well.


When you learn to let go of toxic people, it will significantly improve your life. You’ll find yourself happier and more able to make positive changes in your life.


It’s hard to remain positive in life when surrounded by negativity. Assess the relationships in your life.


If there are toxic people around you, work on distancing yourself and surround yourself with positive role models.


Don’t get sucked into their drama. Don’t fry to fix their problems. Distance yourself as much as possible and set boundaries if you cannot remove yourself.



You Frequently Run Late


Continually running late might not sound like a problematic blind spot in self-care. However, it can negatively impact various aspects of your life.


When you are habitually late, it lowers your trustworthiness. It can negatively impact every area of your life.


It affects your personal relationships and leads to issues at work, just to name two.


In terms of self-care, this trait makes it harder to stick to specific changes you make because you’ll find it more challenging to stick to a schedule you set yourself.


Recognizing this trait won’t be too difficult because you’ll know if being on time is a problem for you or a problem with others in your life.


Someone that can’t manage their time is a problem to the people in their lives. It can cause loss of jobs and loss of friends.


There are many excellent books and other resources that teach time management. I highly encourage anyone with a time problem to change this trait.





Impatience can never serve you well. It causes stress, frustration, anxiety, and nervousness, raises blood pressure, and increases heart rate.


If you suffer from this character trait, it takes a terrible toll on your life over time. Impatience is NOT a virtue!


Impatience is trying to control something that is out of their control. Trying to force something to happen sooner is unreasonable.


If you tend to be impatient, you may find self-care more challenging. This is because you won’t necessarily see any results overnight.


It takes time to adopt new habits and see the benefits of self-care. If you’re impatient, you might give up before you’ve experienced the benefits of your hard work.


Impatient people experience anger and annoyance when they don’t see instant results.


Working on becoming more patient as you start your self-care journey is essential if you want to continue and get the most from your self-care program.


These are some of the most common blind spots you may experience when working on self-care.


Identifying these character traits will help reduce the challenges of self-care.


It will help you work on these traits, develop positive changes and succeed with the changes you make.


This completes Part Four of our series.


We have one more left in our Five Part Series


But before we go always remember to

Be true to your magnificent self,
Coach Marlene


Connect with me!! I’d love to hear from you.