5 Types of Negative Self-Talk

And How to Stop Them

By Marlene Wagner


Today, I’m talking about a subject I am very passionate about.

If I could be granted one big wish, it would be to stop most people’s unconscious habitual negative self-talk.

Negative thoughts manifest into spoken words and are, without a doubt, the biggest saboteur of all hopes and dreams for what we want in life.

We like to think we’re optimistic, positive people. After all, no one wants to be considered a grump.

Besides, isn’t that what we’re taught when we’re children, to smile and think the best of those around us?

In truth, we don’t always quite hit the mark—most of the time, we don’t.

We are programmed to say things, but what we say is not congruent with our inner dialogue.

We might mean to be positive, but the silent inner dialogue is running continuously.

We only know it’s there when we consciously pay attention to the dialogue inside our heads.

And the negative influences around us derail any efforts we might gain in negating any positive conversation we may have in our heads.

In short, we’re constantly being broadsided by negativity, and we can’t help but respond in kind.

We can learn to recognize when self-talk turns negative and stop it before it gains a foothold in our lives.

We start by learning how to identify the most common culprits.


Black and White Thinking

The minute you start using ‘all’ or ‘nothing’ statements, you’re already falling into a negative mindset.

When this comes up, the best thing to do is remind yourself that the world doesn’t work that way. There are more shades of grey than you might think.


Tunnel Vision

When you only see the bad in everything, it’s no wonder you feel lost in a sea of despair and negative self-talk.

Here you see the world as only negative and seek proof by pointing out every flaw or failure.

The laws of the Universe will always provide you with proof of your negative convictions.

You can defeat this by rewording the statements as they come up. Look for the positive spin you can put on things.

Before my coaching training, I was blessed with two wonderful and positive neighbors who became some of my best friends.

They were professionals, and he traveled to worldwide speaking platforms to give motivational speeches.

He used to call me on it every time I said anything negative.

He’d tell me to listen to what I just said and asked me to reword it into a positive statement.

He did this relentlessly, but it helped me in ways I can’t describe.

When I entered my NLP training, I already had a strong foundation that helped accelerate the NLP training.

I can safely say I am ninety-nine percent of the time very aware of the conversations I’m having in my head.   

Let’s continue providing more ways to be more aware of negative self-talk.


The Disaster Plan

A disaster mindset is when you can only see the negative outcome in everything.

Accept that sometimes, failure happens.  

If it helps you, try to have a plan B in your predictions if you need one.

But also remember to remind yourself there’s also a chance of success in what you try, and there’s no reason to assume the worst.

An exercise like this helps to remind you of your negative thinking and will help you to change how you phrase your words.



You assume you know what someone else is thinking, and it’s never good.

To combat this, I recommend you examine the proof you have to know what the other person is thinking.

If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll find no proof. All you have are incorrect perceptions of negative statements.

As much as we’d like to, we cannot read minds.  

If you catch yourself assuming the worst, again, rephrase your statement into something more positive.

An example would be if you’re thinking the worst is to give the other person the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe they are having an off day or don’t feel well. It would be a great time to help yourself feel good about yourself.

Smile and ask them if there is anything I can help you with today—a perfect opportunity to find out just what they are thinking.

Quit assuming!


The Guilty Conscience

You messed up. Once. A long time ago. It’s time to let it go.

For some people, their brains are experts at bringing up the past, regardless of how much time has passed.

Now is the time to remind yourself of what lessons you may have learned.

Remember, the past is in the past. Look forward to seeing the possibilities, and letting go of the rest.

So easily said, so hard to do. It’s time to forgive yourself and put it to rest because there is no going back for a redo.

The world really is a wonderful place, more than you might have realized.

When you let go of negative self-talk, you’re allowing yourself to try a new frame of mind and see just how good things can be.

In going forward, become aware of how you refer to different situations. When you think of it, check on your self-talk.

That’s a good habit if you want to eliminate negativity and become more positive in your word and thoughts.

Embrace positivity. Discover what the world has to offer!


I have as-needed coaching available, and if this would be something you’d be interested in, contact me for a free one-hour audit. 

If you have any challenges, let me know. I’ll include it in my content.


Starting today, make yourself a priority and begin living your best life. 

But before we go, always remember to

Be true to your magnificent self,
Coach Marlene

Connect with me!! I’d love to hear from you.

Email: parkavenueunlimited@midco.net