The Ultimate Guide To Midlife Dating

 by Marlene Wagner

What Do You Want?

I’ve worked with many women with no clue or clarity on the type of man they want.   How can you find something when you don’t know what you’re looking for?

How would you even know if you found it? Women spend more time planning a vacation or yearly wardrobe than on something as important as a lifelong mate.



In this article, I will show you how you can create the ideal man and relationship.

I will be discussing how you can gain clarity on what you want in a man and what you want an ideal relationship to look like.

We will discuss how you can precisely know what you are looking for before getting out there and starting dating again.

Or, if you are dating and experiencing dating disasters, you can change all that now. I believe most relationships and marriages are by default. What do I mean by default?

You’re dating to meet a man you can fall in love with and wish to have a relationship with, and usually, that’s how it starts. You’re looking for the “hot” guy you hope will rock your boat. You know, the tall good looking one.

Usually, that’s about as far as your wish list for a relationship goes. I know I’ve done it too, so I know what I’m talking about. The tall, hot guy makes his move, you connect, and yes, he’s swept you off your feet before the first few hour’s end.

By the second date, you are already having sex, and because you can’t be apart from one another, you now move in together. That is often how a default relationship begins.

After several months, you still don’t really know one another, at least the important things you should know.

Eventually, the passion settles down, and you settle in for the long term.

Things are not perfect, and often there is friction, but you both hang in, and eventually, you marry or at least get into a long-term relationship.

Soon you become parents, and the life you dreamed of having is nothing like the life you’re living. All too often, it comes to an end with bitterness and divorce.

Do you wonder how did it all go so wrong?

I have just described a relationship by default. There was no plan or a clear understanding of what you wanted in a relationship, and the chips fell where they did.

You didn’t know what you wanted and what you got was nothing that you thought it would be.


How to know what you want and see what you are looking for.

No more default relationships. Let’s change all that right now. Knowing very specifically what you want in a guy is crucial.


Get out paper and pencil and start describing the ideal man and relationship you want. Describe what your ideal man looks like physically. Get as detailed as you can.

What’s his style? Is he shorts and flip-flops, or is he a suit, white shirt, and tie guy? What is his fitness level? Do you like them fit and trim? Or maybe that doesn’t matter to you.

What are his Personality Traits? List all you’d want your guy to possess—a sense of humor, intelligence, confidence, etc. Keep going; list everything important to you that you want your ideal man to be.  

What are his Skills? Is he romantic? Is he a good listener? Is he good in bed? Can he rock a tool belt, or do you prefer a tech geek?

What is his earning potential? Does he help with the housework?

What are his Top Characteristics? Is he faithful? Is he dependable? Is he kind? Does he have integrity?

Spend as much time on this exercise as you’d like.

Describe the lifestyle and the relationship that would be your ideal.

Knowing what you’re looking for is critical, and it is the first step the women I coach start with, so we know exactly what we’re looking for.

Be great to your magnificent self,

Coach Marlene


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