How To Be Supportive In Relationships

Believe In Yourself and Communicate Effectively

By Marlene Wagner


Today, I want to talk to you about how to nurture and have healthy relationships.

We may sometimes feel like we aren’t there and not supportive enough of our friends or significant other.

One of the complaints I hear most often is friends aren’t there for me, supportive, or stay in contact.

Being supportive in any relationship is an integral part of maintaining the relationship.

I’ve experienced it myself and relate when others express a lack of caring from friends.

I also know there have been times in my life I’ve been guilty of neglect in my relationships.

Neglect in romantic relationships is often the breakdown of the relationships.  

We lead busy lives and too often don’t realize we’re failing to nurture and reach out to others we care about. And it does work both ways.

Below are a few ways to work on being more supportive in your relationships to ensure you keep them healthy and strong.


Check-In Frequently 

Everyone has that one friend they haven’t heard from in a while. But the phone and the internet work two ways.

Don’t be afraid to message or call your friends to check-in. After all, they may need support and have been too busy to reach out to you.

You never know until you check.

And even if you live with your significant other, it’s important to ask how their day was.

They may not volunteer information that is bothering them until you ask.


Just Listen

You may reach out to a friend and find that they need to vent about some things in their life for a few minutes.

You can best help this friend or significant other by sitting quietly and listening to their problems.

If they want advice or help, you can offer it, but even the most put-together people need to vent now and then.


Help Lower Their Stress

Although you may not solve a problem or situation, they may be facing, this doesn’t mean you can’t help lower their stress in other areas of their life.  

If your husband is experiencing a lot of stress at work, take on a few of their household duties so they can relax when they come home in the evening.

You can also do something simple but excellent for them, such as cook their favorite meal or special dessert.

A shoulder massage will lower their stress, even for a few minutes.

If a friend is having a tough time, offer to take them to lunch or invite them in for an evening of girl talk.

If they have children, offer to take them to a movie or babysit for an afternoon or evening.



Being supportive in all of your relationships is no easy task.

But you can start by frequently checking in with your friends and significant other, listening to them when needed.

We are lowering their stress in any way possible.

Not only will this improve your relationships, but it will also keep relationships strong for years to come.


Belief In Yourself Improves Your Relationships 

You probably already know having an unwavering belief in yourself improves your work life and helps you be more confident in your everyday life.

But were you aware of how much this self-belief improves your relationships with others? Think about these things.


You’ll be More Genuine 

It’s easy to adopt a persona when unsure of ourselves, especially around people we’re hoping to impress.

But how do others around you like the ‘fake’ you? Sooner or later, the reality always comes out.

Even in romantic relationships, trying to be something you’re not is a sure recipe for disaster.


You’ll Contribute More to the Relationship 

When you’re unsure of yourself, you tend to let the other person make all the decisions or carry the weight of maintaining the relationship.  

While some people don’t mind taking the lead, this leads to an unbalanced relationship that can even become codependency if you’re not careful.


Confidence is Sexy 

Ask anyone what they notice first about a person, and the answer that comes up more often than any other is “Confidence.”

When you see someone who knows who they are, are comfortable in their skin, and have a clear view of where they’re going, you’re just drawn to them naturally.

Women who are single and are looking for that quality man, the more confident she is, the more attractive she’ll be to the opposite sex.

It’s automatically a man magnet.

It works the same for women. A confident man is always more attractive to women.


There’s Less Baggage 

People who believe in themselves don’t think about what others around them feel about them.

If your ex put you down, you don’t care because you know you’re worth more than this.

Confidence frees you up to fully enter into new relationships with others without those old expectations or negative emotions tripping you up.


You’ll Argue Less 

If you disagree with your friend or lover, you’ll be less apt to take things personally and more willing to work through the problem.

More importantly, you won’t get caught up in the other person’s opinion of you, put up with abuse, or leave the argument crushed and broken.

People with unwavering self-belief know when to walk away from the fight altogether.


You Will Be Respected 

When you have a strong sense of self-confidence, you have a strong feeling of self-respect, which goes along with it.

When others see you treat yourself as worthy of this respect, they are more likely to treat you with respect as well.

Relationships of every variety always work out best if you have a strong feeling of self-worth.

The rest of the world already knows confident people are people worth knowing. Now, so are you.



Effectively Communicate Your Feelings in Relationships 

In relationships, there’s communication, and then there’s effective communication.

Communication is something that takes work.

Once you’ve successfully positioned yourself as a communicator, the next step is to be effective.

Try these mini steps to help you effectively communicate your feelings.


Allow Yourself to Feel  

Do you find yourself going into a conversation with guilt or apprehension about your feelings?

That won’t help you communicate effectively.  

You’re allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling, and you’re also allowed to talk about those feelings. 


Label your Feelings 

Are you reading more into the feelings you are experiencing? Are you labeling them and trying to put them into the essence of your emotions?  

It’s not easy, but it’s an essential exercise for you to do on your own before opening up and sharing with someone else.


Start with Yourself 

Suppose you’re extroverted or you like talking about your feelings a lot.

In that case, your first inclination may be to talk it out with a friend or your significant other.

That’s great to do, but it begins with you. If someone else’s insight or advice influences you, you’ll have difficulty processing everything.

Start with yourself, and then work up to a discussion with the other person.


Remember How Much You Matter 

You matter, and your feelings matter to your friends and significant other.

Keep this in mind and try to negate the potential fear or hesitation you may be experiencing.

Replace those feelings with confidence and security in the strength of your relationship.


Swap “You” for “I” 

It is, without a doubt, the most significant mistake people make in trying to communicate leading with “you.” “You made me feel” or “You did this.”

You must stay with your feelings and stay with “I.” A conversation is helpful for you to share your perspective – not for you to point fingers at your loved ones.  

Think about how you feel, why you feel that way, and what has happened to contribute to those feelings.

Be happy you’re taking steps to learn how to express your feelings effectively. It’s excellent for you and even better for your relationships.

Pat yourself on the back for working through something difficult.   

Remind yourself of the light at the end of the communication tunnel – a happy, healthy dynamic between you, your friends, and your partner.


I have as-needed coaching available, and if this would be something you’d be interested in, contact me for a free one-hour discovery call. 

If you have any challenges, let me know. I’ll include it in my content.


Starting today, make yourself a priority and begin living your best life. 

But before we go, always remember to

Be true to your magnificent self,
Coach Marlene


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