How to Look, Act, And Project Self Confidence

7 Ways to Fake It Until You Make It

By Marlene Wagner

No One is Always 100% Confident

That old saying, “Fake it ‘til you make it,” has never been more meaningful than when dealing with confidence issues.

Confidence is the essential personality trait you can develop to better deal with life’s transitions – both personal and professional.

It takes confidence to take risks to ensure success.

Do you ever look around and feel everyone in the world has self-confidence but you?  Everywhere you look, people appear self-assured. Would it come as a surprise to learn we all suffer from a lack of confidence in more than one area?

We all lack confidence in some areas of our lives. Once you learn to recognize when you feel your insecurities is when you can work through it.

I have listed some ways for you to project confidence, even if you don’t feel it.


Projecting Confidence – Even if You Don’t Feel It

Identifying some of our traits can be helpful as it shows us how to recognize and deal with the challenge of looking confident.

Take a few minutes and make a list of when and where you lack confidence. How can you integrate some of the following into those areas you have on your list and want more confidence?

Be Optimistic

Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Do you see the glass as half-empty or half-full?

If you see the glass as half-empty, you’re likely not an optimist and could experience feelings of low self-worth and doubts.

Being pessimistic makes it harder to act optimistic. As a life coach of more than 20 years, I’ve found cynical individuals can be turned around and start viewing the world differently.

Seeing the glass as half-full places you in the “optimist” category and shows that you look for opportunity rather than failure.


Don’t take yourself too seriously

Yes, it does us good to lighten up. Allow yourself to loosen up and enjoy life.

When you’re more relaxed in demeanor, people find that refreshing.

Most of us have to deal with stress and intense situations every day, so to be around someone relaxed is a real pleasure.

When you are relaxed, you will also be happier. Others gravitate towards you and enjoy being around you.


Pay attention to others

When you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, you will most likely not feel or appear too confident.

Your focus is on yourself. Now is the time to pay attention to other people.

Making eye contact and smiling makes you approachable.

When engaged in a conversation, listen intently and keep eye contact.

Those you’re engaged with its a must when attempting to project confidence.

If you are continually looking around the room or up at the ceiling when you’re conversing, it’s not only rude you also appear less trustworthy.

You are far less likely to demand admiration.

Dress the part

I can’t stress enough the importance of dressing the part to look and feel confident.

Dress appropriately with properly fitting clothes. Be well-groomed. You will not only look and feel confident, but it makes an impressive statement about you.

It shows you take pride in yourself and important how you show up in the world. Whatever you want to succeed at in life requires an individual look.

Want to rise to a CEO level in your company? Stop dressing in jeans and t-shirts.

Show others – with your looks – that you’re ready to step into the position, even if you’re much lower on the ladder.


Watch your language

When you speak, speak clearly, and watch your language to be sure you’re not using buzz words or contradictory language or interject phrases such as “you know…”

That’s referred to as “conversational clutter” and be avoided at all costs.

The sloppy language also makes you appear uneducated.

We don’t always hear how we are speaking or language mistakes we are making.  Ask a trusted friend to help you or playback a recording of your language in a conversation with someone. 

If you feel your language could use improvement, often it something you can improve on your own. 

Or you can choose professional help.  Impeccable language is another area that will help you look and feel more confident.


Check your posture

If you want to look and feel confident, just the mere fact of standing up straight with shoulders back can make a world of difference.

Not only in how you feel about yourself but how you appear to others. 

If you see someone stoop-shouldered, slumped over, head down, how do you think they feel about themselves?

They don’t look or feel too confidant, do they? 

If you try standing straight shoulders back, both feet planted firmly on the ground, and now tell me how you feel?


Accept and give compliments

When you want to look and feel confidant give someone a sincere and genuine compliment.

You’ll not only make them feel good, but you’ve also taken the focus off yourself.

Learn to also accept compliments graciously about your accomplishments.  Always thank the person and tell them you appreciate the compliment.

Be free with your compliments to others when warranted. Giving compliments show that you consider yourself a good judge of character.

Accepting compliments show you the value of what you’ve done.


Projecting confidence

Projecting a certain amount of confidence, even when you don’t feel it, shows that you’re ready to meet challenges head-on.

Sometimes, we don’t yet have the knowledge or skills it takes to perform at the top of the game, but you can project determination and enthusiasm to meet the challenge.

I have given you the most common suggestions and exercises to improve on looking, acting, and projecting confidence when you don’t feel confident.

If you have found this information helpful, I’d love to hear from you and how you felt implementing the methods and exercises.  Has it helped you feel more confident?

If you continue to practice these techniques at some point, it becomes automatic, and you’ll do them without even thinking about it anymore.

These confidence practices and exercises work for both men and women. If you’d like more information like this, please let me know what would be helpful to you.

In the meantime, check out more content on my website at

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Always be true to your greatness

Coach Marlene