The Ultimate Guide To Midlife Dating
by Marlene Wagner
How To Find Mr. Right
How often have you started to date a man thinking it would go somewhere only to find out it would never go to the next level?
Many women have wasted years on the wrong guy. He has no intention of committing to you.
Let’s take a look at another scenario. If a man tells you, he’s not interested in a committed relationship, but you believe you can change his mind.
You’re thinking of all the time you’ve invested, and you don’t want to give up now. You’ve invested years with a man and never got that commitment you wanted so much.
In this article I will show you how to avoid ever wasting time again on Mr. Wrong.
I will show you how to qualify a man and his intentions in the first or second date.
I will give you useful skills and tools you can implement on your very next date.
If you’re looking for Mr. Right, then you must have a plan that allows you to cut to the chase as quickly as possible.
Midlife dating is unique. Right now, there are more divorced, single, and available men than ever before.
Most of these men want to be in a relationship again, and they’re looking for Ms. Right.
Finding men to date is not that difficult, but you want to know early on if the man has the potential to be your Mr. Right.
The most crucial first step you must know to enter back into the dating world successfully.
I’m a coach who teaches women how to get clear on what they are looking for in an ideal man and relationship.
You are looking for Mr. Right, and finding him, we need to have a plan in place: a strategy you can implement on the first and second date.
It’s so much easier to find the right man for you if you know what you are looking for. You will no longer waste time on the men who don’t fit your criteria.
It doesn’t surprise me; there are so many dating disasters. We are women 40, 50, 60, and older and have never learned how to be good at dating and having quality relationships.
Unfortunately, we were never given manuals, and our role models didn’t know any better, either.
However, today more than ever, we can be smarter at the things that are important to us.
I ask women about their conversation on that first date; I realize how little they’ve learned about that man.
I’ve asked women that have been with a man for six months and longer that have never asked the kind of questions to get to know their man.
Interrogation is not the right approach.
I have known women that go on that first date with a laundry list of questions and on a mission to interrogate their date. That is not a recommended tactic.
Here you have two extremes, and sad to say, not much that’s middle of the road conversation to learn about the man you are on a date with.
So how do you find Mr. Right and stop wasting valuable time on the wrong ones? Get clear on what you are looking for.
Have a plan when you go on that first date. Your mission is whether he fits your criteria, not if you fit his.
His job is to impress you, not the other way around. He’s the one applying for a position in your life, and you will be the one to decide if he has the potential for that position.
Three important questions to ask on that first date.
The answers reveal and provide essential information about whether this man has any potential for a second date.
These are questions easily incorporated into any conversation you’re having while getting to know one another.
It will also impress your date as he’s going to be thinking you are interested in getting to know him and that you ask the right questions. He’ll appreciate it, and now you already stand above the rest.
“Tell me something about yourself you’d like me to know.”
I suggest asking this question relatively early in the date.
It’s a great question when there is a lull, or you’re suddenly at a loss to keep the conversation going. It’s also a great question if he’s doing a lot of talking and asking about you.
If he’s talking and asking about you, it’s a good sign. It means he’s interested.
If he’s talking a lot but only about himself, he’s shooting himself in the foot.
This date may well be doomed, and you won’t need to ask that first question.
But things are going well, so you’ll want to ask him this question. I like this question. It reveals what’s important to him.
It tells you what he values. It may be about his career or occupation, or his children, or significant achievement. It could be about a passionate hobby.
Do you see the benefit of this question? Whatever his answer is, it gives you useful information about this man and what’s important to him.
Question # 2
“Where do you see yourself in five years?” This question can easily be slipped in anywhere and can undoubtedly be used right after the first question depending on his answer.
What you’ll learn from this question is if he’s a man that has goals and moving in the direction of some sort and what that would be.
Would his goals fit your criteria? Does his five-year plan include having a relationship again?
I have found some men when asked that question, will say I hope to be married and in a loving relationship.
If his answer doesn’t include being in a relationship, chances are he’s not interested in a committed relationship.
Again, valuable information about him.
Question # 3
“What is your philosophy on relationships?” Last but not least. This question will be most revealing and essential you ask.
Have his relationships been a good experience for him, or have they been disasters? This question and his answer will have a significant impact on where you see things going with this man.
I call these three questions my qualifying questions.
Does this date have potential? Does he fit some of your criteria, or is he a dead deal for sure?
Do you see the importance of the right questions to cut to the chase and avoid wasting time?
If you are looking for a committed relationship and he’s not, you will indeed find out right away and move on to the next one.
When I’m coaching, I have a long list of essential questions and things you want to know about a man before you ever enter into a relationship with him.
I don’t believe you can get to know someone for several months. Don’t you want to really know this person before you commit and become exclusive with one another?
It’s much better to predict the success or failure of a relationship if two people get to know one another well first.
Following these suggestions will get you to Mr. Right and most certainly avoid Mr. Wrong.
Be great to your magnificent self,