Dating Mistakes Before You Start Dating
Preparing Yourself for Dating Again
by Marlene Wagner
Starting the Right Way
I often talk and write about dating and dating mistakes. Today’s dating world is confusing and challenging to navigate. I’ve written an entire book on how to navigate today’s dating world.
It’s a book written for today’s women that find themselves single again, for the women that have been out of the dating world for some time and often for years.
They want to get back out there and find love again and don’t know where to start.
My book and blogs are all about educating and helping women find love again. Find the right man for them and avoid as many common mistakes as possible finding them.
If you missed my recent post on Dating Mistakes, you could find it by clicking here.
As a dating coach and author, I meet and talk to many women and learn where the different women are at dating again.
Dating Mistake #1 you haven’t healed from the last relationship or fully grieved the loss.
The first biggest dating mistake you could make. If you still have attachments or negative baggage from that relationship, you’ll sabotage all possibilities of connecting with a quality man.
Some women take longer than others to heal from the last relationship. Take as long as you need, but you must be fully healed before thinking of dating again.
Some women feel because they were the one to end the relationship, they’re ready to date, and time to get over the relationship isn’t necessary. There is still a healing process, regardless.
You may have anger or bitterness from that relationship, and it’s essential to let go of that anger and resentment. If you’re not free of it, it can still be damaging to connect with someone new.
If you have trouble moving on, you may consider the help of a professional. It’s not uncommon to get “stuck” and unable to move forward on your own. Know when it’s time to see help, and then do it.
Dating Mistake #2 thinking negatively about yourself.
All too common, so many women have a negative self-image. As a result, self-talk is negative and running through their thoughts, looping over and over.
I’m too fat. I’m out of shape. My husband left who will want me. I don’t have the right clothes to date, etc., etc.
Trying to date while you feel this way and telling yourself you’re not okay is a huge dating mistake. You will unknowingly sabotage any dating efforts.
I provide detailed information in my book on how to getting your dating confidence back. Watch for future blogs I’m writing on building dating confidence.
While working on building back your self-confidence, it’s a good time to think about why you want to get back into dating. What is your dating goal?
Dating Mistake #3 is not having a dating goal.
A dating goal is what you are looking for in a new relationship. What is your ideal man, ideal partner? Take paper and pencil and start writing what your ideal man and relationship would look like.
I created an Ideal Man and Relationship form because I require this exercise to be completed before coaching my women. If you are interested, send me an email, and I’ll get it out to you.
Describe your ideal man. Describe his character, his personality, his interests, his occupation. Describe what your life looks like with this ideal man.
Describe what your ideal relationship with your ideal man would look like. Same interests, mutual activities, and recreations. Are your goals compatible?
Be as detailed as you can. Take your time doing this exercise. You may go back to it often to add or remove something you previously listed.
This should be an ongoing process because as time goes on, you’ll think of something you’d like in a man or something that would be important or nice to have.
Dating Mistake #4 is lacking clarity about what you really want.
I have known women and worked with women that were not necessarily looking for Mr. Right. They are lonely and just looking for someone that would have them so as not to be alone.
That in itself is not a good reason to date. You are asking for trouble if that is the reason to date.
It’s okay if you’re not looking for a long-term loving relationship or remarry again if you’ve previously been married. However, it’s essential you get clear as to what exactly you’re looking for.
If you’re lonely and just want a friendly companion, that’s okay. Just be clear on what exactly it is you want. Whatever you want, you can have it as long as you know what it is that you want.
Dating Mistake #5 Dating one person at a time.
You’ve got your dating confidence back, you’ve completed the Ideal Man and Relationship exercise, and you’ve gotten clarity on just what your reason for dating is.
It’s time to step out and start dating. As a coach, I’ve always recommended dating as much and as many dates as you can.
The reason is life is short, and there is no point wasting time in your search for that ideal companion you’re are out there looking for.
You’re dating one at a time until… Some women feel they are unable to juggle more than dating one man at a time. There is a way, and I teach women how to do that.
Spending time with the wrong man wastes time finding the right man for you. Check out my post on how to cut to the chase quickly. https://attractloveatanyage.com/727/ How to find the man you’ve been waiting for.
I’ve just covered 5 dating mistakes I see women make that are very new to the dating world. These are women that have gotten divorced from years of marriage or women that have lost their spouse.
It’s been years since they were in the dating world. Today’s dating feels foreign to them as it’s very different from back when they dated.
The dating mistakes I covered earlier are preparing these women before they actually get back out and start dating.
Getting clarity and addressing areas they usually wouldn’t think about when they’re interested again to date.
- Eliminated baggage from the last relationship.
- What is your confidence level about dating?
- What are you telling yourself when you’re thinking about meeting a new man again?
- Are you clear on what you’d like a new man or relationship to look like for you?
- Are you sure you want a romantic relationship again or have just a good friend?
- Back in the day, we women dated one man at a time. Today we date more than one at a time.
If you haven’t started dating yet but feel you’re ready to get back out there, this is helpful information for you.
Starting prepared and on the right foot will help you avoid getting discouraged as you step back into the dating world.
Watch for my next post on Dating Mistakes. I have more coming for you.
Be great to your magnificent self,
Attract Love at Any Age http://a.co/gu5yUSk